Big news: the worst story ever written about at-home dads has been published. New York Magazine let loose with this piece of work titled "Alpha Women, Beta Men." It's bad, it makes the much-derided Newsweek cover story (can't find active link, sorry) look like a Pultizer winner. In short, the story is about the trials and tribulations of powerful women who have at-home husbands. How bad is the story? Here's a sampling of the way the men are described. Items from the story itself are in "single quotes," and quotes from the story are in "'double quotes:'"
"'it's like ... where you realize you're married to people who drink" ... "puttered around the house" ... "'freeloading'" ... "shell-shocked beta-spouse" ... "'like a child'" ... "'a parasite'" ..."'the bum'" ... "even though some of the freeloaders are excellent fathers" ...
Let's be honest: there are reams of social science data (none quoted in the story) that suggested that swapping gender roles is a stress on a relationship. That's not even up for debate. But this story goes well beyond that, spending thousands of words bashing those role-swapping men as no-good couch potatoes. Here are the three most disturbing elements of the author's approach:
1. There's a near-total avoidance of questions of parenthood and the value of raising the children. Can you seriously talk about househusbands without a serious discussion of fatherhood?
2. The story implies that you can be a do-nothing beta male even if you ... bring home $16,000 on the side (according to one woman who makes $270,000 a year) or if you teach public school (according to a divorce mediator).
3. There's latent sexism here with regard to the "beta" role in the family. If the story had been reversed and quoted a bunch of cigar-munching male execs belittling their "do-nothing" wives, the author's head would be on a stick.
I take all this with a grain of salt, and I doubt I'll blog on this article again. The author, Ralph Gardner, Jr., writes about the world as if it consists solely of uber-rich Upper East Side professionals. It's like reading about lost Amazonian societies -- there's a lot to the rituals that are so foreign as to be almost incomprehensible. A year ago, he botched a 'mommy wars' story by focusing on the same group of people ... people who aren't even representative of New York City, let alone America.
"'it's like ... where you realize you're married to people who drink" ... "puttered around the house" ... "'freeloading'" ... "shell-shocked beta-spouse" ... "'like a child'" ... "'a parasite'" ..."'the bum'" ... "even though some of the freeloaders are excellent fathers" ...
Let's be honest: there are reams of social science data (none quoted in the story) that suggested that swapping gender roles is a stress on a relationship. That's not even up for debate. But this story goes well beyond that, spending thousands of words bashing those role-swapping men as no-good couch potatoes. Here are the three most disturbing elements of the author's approach:
1. There's a near-total avoidance of questions of parenthood and the value of raising the children. Can you seriously talk about househusbands without a serious discussion of fatherhood?
2. The story implies that you can be a do-nothing beta male even if you ... bring home $16,000 on the side (according to one woman who makes $270,000 a year) or if you teach public school (according to a divorce mediator).
3. There's latent sexism here with regard to the "beta" role in the family. If the story had been reversed and quoted a bunch of cigar-munching male execs belittling their "do-nothing" wives, the author's head would be on a stick.
I take all this with a grain of salt, and I doubt I'll blog on this article again. The author, Ralph Gardner, Jr., writes about the world as if it consists solely of uber-rich Upper East Side professionals. It's like reading about lost Amazonian societies -- there's a lot to the rituals that are so foreign as to be almost incomprehensible. A year ago, he botched a 'mommy wars' story by focusing on the same group of people ... people who aren't even representative of New York City, let alone America.
posted by Rebel Dad at
9:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home