Thursday, December 06, 2007

Dear Abby Warns At-Home Mom of the SAHD Charms

Let's be clear about one thing: while parts of "Little Children" was close to the mark, the whole, central, at-home-mom-and-at-home-dad-have-torrid-affair-out-of-boredom plotline was exceedingly far-fetched. Maybe I live a sheltered life, but there ain't a lot of extramarital playground smooching going on where I come from.

So I was a bit surprised when "Dear Abby" warned an at-home mom that that awkward feeling she gets around a certain at-home dad was a Danger, Will Robinson kind of feeling:
DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mother with three young children. I have become friends with another stay-at-home parent. We share many things in common, and our children are great playmates. The problem is, my friend is a man.

Even though both of us are happily married, sometimes we feel awkward spending time together. Our spouses are not thrilled about us hanging out together, but they haven't forbidden it because they trust us to be faithful.

Is it appropriate for a man and a woman to spend time together while their spouses are at work? – AT HOME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN'S HUSBAND

DEAR AT HOME: It depends upon the individuals involved and whether there is a physical attraction. In your case, because you "sometimes feel awkward spending time together," I suggest you limit it – because what you're feeling may be sexual tension.

Has it occurred to you to include other stay-at-home parents in these visits? That might be a way to diffuse the situation without ending the friendship.
Maybe I've retained the delightful naiveté that kept me from dating much before I was 16, but is there really that much sexual tension running through co-ed playdates?

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