Wednesday, June 16, 2004

OK, as long as the nap is holding ... let me get to this comically bizarre piece titled "Meet Today’s Dad: A model to avoid," by Catherine Seipp in the National Review. (It makes Caitlin Flanagan sound like Plato.) Let's start by going over some of her thoughts on involved fathers, shall we?
Often this is a guy whose wife slaves away at an office job so dreamy artistic dad can pursue his dreamy artistic dreams ...
... On Halloween, he ... trails along with a cooler of gin-and-tonics while bossy mom plans the trick-or-treating route ...
... his childcare skills aren't always quite as honed as he imagines ...
... with that serenely self-satisfied expression I notice these guys often assume ...
... like many guys he found it difficult to do things at once — like watch a child while chatting with another adult. ...
... men in charge of small children are like women and parallel parking: Attention must be paid or something's going to get dented ...
...sensitive Today's Dad types are quick to dismiss women like me as Mean Ladies ...
... he can't be bothered to enforce proper behavior ...
... Today's Dad is ... screaming at third graders on the soccer field ...
... as we all know, in real life the day-in, day-out toting and chauffeuring generally falls to Mom.
Now Seipp hints that she has her own wound on the topic (a husband who walked out on his 10-month-old infant), but I can't imagine that's a very good excuse for ignoring reality. I don't much care when writers celebrate old-school, tough-love parenting over more touchy-feely fathering (at-home dads, like at-home moms, are all over that spectrum), but to boldly assert that we are incapable of caring for children at a basic level just doesn't mesh with the evidence.

I feel bad that Seipp carries such bitterness toward men -- especially men who are working to equalize the gender imbalance in the home. The current generation of men have a more open view of childcare and household responsibilities than any in more than 100 years. I understand perfectly well the argument that those men shouldn't be celebrated for doing exactly what millions of women do, but they shouldn't be excoriated for it, either.

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