I always love reader mail, especially when I get pointed to a story I would have otherwise missed. So thanks, Jen, for flagging this Chicago Trib story on housewives so angry that they've started their own rock band. Jen makes this point: "I for one am sick to death of people bemoaning mothers' schedules, and talking about "taking time back from the kids", while simultaneously ignoring the completely absent dad."

In fairness, the story does mention husbands -- once:

And what about fathers? To these stay-at-home moms, many of whom have husbands, dads aren't a big part of the equation. Moms have taken on virtually all of the burdens of high-maintenance parenting and now they're beginning to regret that choice.

Now, I am all for scaling back expectations of parents, reducing over-scheduled kids and generally removing 90 percent of the parenting help books from the bookstore shelves. But Jen is right: there is never going to be balance in the home if there's not a commitment to shared parenting. (Or a rock-solid understanding that parenting will not be shared. The caveat here is that very "traditional" marriages tend to not to have these problems, according to the research I've seen. But I have a hard time imagining such a relationship, so I have to take the word of the academics.) It's fun to pitch the idea that parenthood sucks. "Desperate Housewives" gets a good number of yuks from that idea, and the Trib story plays the frustration angle for grins. But anyone who wants to take a break from the bitching and find a solution had better spend more than 50 words wondering where the dads are.

Brief item: check out this encouraging bit of text from the Providence (RI) Journal:

New Mommy/New Baby Program : Mothers are welcome to bring their babies to help build their knowledge, skills and confidence in caring for their newborns, as well as themselves. Stay-at-home dads are welcome, too. Program is offered at Charlton Memorial Hospital, 363 Highland Ave. The cost is $25 for 6 weeks. For upcoming groups or for more information, call (508) 679-7308.

"Stay-at-home dads are welcome, too." Progress!

Finally, I'm updating the dad's groups to the right. There's now a site for Baltimore, Maryland, which looks poised to become far more than a local resource. And I've added the Long Island at-home dad group, too. I've removed the now-defunct Maine group. As always, please let me know about additions and errors.