Bailing me out: I promised, during my rant on the NY Times story earlier this month to write and post a letter to the editor in response. I didn't get around to it, but At-Home Dad Convention Czar Barry Reszel copied his thoughtful letter to the Times to the dads-at-home Yahoo group and gave me permission to re-post it here.

To the Editor:

It's a shame the New York Times didn't send a reporter to cover the Ninth Annual At-Home Dads' convention this November near Chicago before running the Housewives, Try This for Desperation: Stay-at-Home Fathers Face a Stigma, and Isolation article on December 22. A reporter there would have gleaned an entirely different, and fresh, angle to the story of at-home dads in our country. While isolation is an issue to be faced and dealt with by at-home parents of both genders, the Times' focus on this seclusion offers only a superficial glimpse into the lives of at-home fathers.

The reasons more men are assuming the role of their children's primary caregiver are because more couples are refusing to play day care roulette with their children, society is finally figuring out that women can be extraordinary businesspeople and men are understanding that involved fathering means putting their children first, for the benefit of the entire family.

At the convention, Yale researcher Dr. Kyle Pruett pointed out that outcomes of involved fathering include smarter, more empathetic and tolerant children and more mentally and physically healthy parents (Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D.). "Men do not belong in the cheap seats of their children's lives," Dr. Pruett said.

As an at-home dad of more than 10 years, I couldn't agree more with Dr. Pruett, or less with the quote in the Times article that says at-home fathering "takes ones manhood, chews it up, spits it out and does it again." On the contrary, I say there is nothing more important, more necessary, more manly than being the best possible father to my children. I'm lucky to have a wife, family and countless peers who agree. Others who are man enough to take on this role are cordially invited to the 10th Annual At-Home Dads' Convention near Chicago next November, where we talk about the sometimes frustrations, along with the everyday joys of at-home parenting. Details will be found on www.slowlane.com in the spring.

Sincerely,
Barry J. Reszel, At-Home Dads' Convention Coordinator